Building Emotional Intelligence

Can emotional intelligence be acquired?  Anything can be learned, no matter what stage in life we are at.  And why learn emotional intelligence?  Emotional intelligence can bring us joy, connection, peace, wealth, success, and more.  We may even know someone who has an endless supply of emotional intelligence.  She’s always smiling and surrounded by fans.  I know that personality quite well, as my loved one ranks high in emotional intelligence.

Today, I took an emotional intelligence test and scored 100% for both resilience and striving and scored 96% for both positivity and self-esteem.  However, I bomb at reading other people’s emotions.  In other words, despite my best efforts, I need more empathy.  I truly want this skill, but I need help acquiring it.  But emotional intelligence is learnable.  And we all have the potential to sparkle with off-the-charts emotional intelligence.

With that said, here are my approaches to five traits of emotional intelligence that I rank high on:

Emotional resilience: The best way to have emotional resilience is to love others no matter what they do.  Love everyone, as if every soul contains the light of God.  A homeless fellow with a shopping cart opened the door for me yesterday.  He looked rough, but his heart was soft and filled with kindness.  We all eventually reach the promised land, our heaven, regardless of our religion, wealth, or poverty.  (At least, that’s what I’ve learned from my studies of near-death experiences and different faiths.) Though we may take different paths, we are all on the same journey.  Therefore, why not show love to everyone?  It helps us all reach the light faster.  After all, loving everyone is the ultimate recipe for forgiveness and joy!

Growth Mindset: If I’m attacked, I don’t blame.  Instead, I find a grain of truth that signals a growth opportunity.  And every attack we receive contains a grain of truth from the other person’s perspective.  Fundamental to this is never blaming the other party but trying to see the event from their point of view while ignoring their flaws.  Even the tiniest shred of merit on their part signals a growth opportunity for me.  At the very least, I can see it as my karma returning to me, independent of who delivers it.

Communication skills: I completed a Communications master’s degree but received the best communication skills from a four-hour course for people with social anxiety.  It teaches us to smile at people when we greet them and bid farewell.  And it teaches us to give people some content when they ask how our day is rather than us responding with a simple “Good.” It goes into more of a system, of course.  As a result of taking this course, I get a lot of free things from merchants now, like spinach pastries, bananas, and coffee, although I don’t drink coffee.  And I can strike fun and engaging conversations with people in lines.  It’s blissful to have caring bonds with almost everyone we encounter.  And it’s exciting to leave our dwellings knowing that we’ll make another new friend who was previously a “stranger.”

Self-reflection: Every night before bed, I like to run through events and assess what I did right and what I could do better.  It indicates a self-improvement opportunity if I felt less than 100% positive during the day.  The goal is to be happy all the time.  Humbling oneself when attacked, like Jesus turning the other cheek, ensures we remain happy.  And walking two miles when someone asks us to walk one brings us bliss.  There is a reason why Jesus is called “Lord” in Christianity.  He had the secret to happiness and peace, despite horrific external circumstances.

Self-care: Go no more than two days without exercising, eating healthy, and learning.  (I say “two” and not “one” because we need the occasional “rest day” from exercise.) If I hadn’t started exercising and eating almost entirely whole foods, I would likely have died from poor health.  At least, I wouldn’t be able to work a full-time job.  And my job is blissful; I am excited about work, especially when I first wake up.  And hobbies, relaxation techniques, learning, and other creative pursuits also benefit the soul.

So, those are five emotional intelligence traits that I rank high on.  You might rank high on these, too.  But I need to improve tests where I look at people’s facial expressions and body postures to guess their feelings.  Quintuple integration calculus was much easier than this.  Much easier!  So, I’m on a mission to learn how to read body language.  And when I discover that gem of insight, I’ll be sure to share it with all of us.  In the meantime, let’s build on our emotional intelligence one facet at a time until we become the epitome of light, love, and empathy.  It’s our journey into bliss!