The Rhyme of the Anxious Essay Writer

I’d managed to forget about it
(For a week at least),
But now it’s here, it’s back again,
That truly scary beast.

Such a harmless-looking message,
It’s in my inbox now:
“Your Assignment has been Marked!
Click Here, Review it Now!”

I didn’t understand them well
(The essay options given),
And now I’m sure the price I’ll pay
Is the low mark I’ll be given.

I hardly dare to click the link.
I know just what I’ll see:
A great big fat whole minus D
Will be staring back at me.

I know my tutor hates me;
That’s been made quite clear
By the other middling, not-great marks
I’ve had so far this year.

I thought I’d like this course at first
When I saw the summary,
And only winced a little bit
When I had to pay the fee.

But now I’ve nothing but regrets
And a lowered GPA
To show for what I paid AU
When I registered that day.

A pounding heart and shallow breath
And gritted teeth have I
As I click the link and type the code
And promise not to cry.

It’s nothing really, nothing much;
It matters not a bit;
I really don’t care if I fail—
I won’t throw a fit.

My heart’s not set on scholarships,
And 100’s not my aim;
A degree’s still a degree
No matter what score I gain.

I’m on the page.  I must scroll down.
I must face what I see.
I’m sure I’ve got a crummy C,
Or even a lowly D.

My eyes skip over comments made
By the tutor I didn’t like.
I’ll come back when my eyes are dry
To see what she doesn’t like.

The final breath—my insides roil—
I see it now.  Hooray!
I really did enjoy this course,
Don’t listen to what I say!
For what do I see
In front of me
But a shining, glowing,
A!


I was very surprised to find myself including this poem, from our November 15 edition, in The Best of The Voice.  But with it’s direct connections to AU and the trepidations so many students have, plus being a fun read on its own, I had to admit I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing more like it. That, combined with how different it is from much of what gets submitted to The Voice Magazine made me realize it had to be here.