Posts By: Karl Low

Darjeeling Jones

Darjeeling is a teacher, writer, and amateur drycleaner. Fetishes include ’70s funk, Stanley Kubrick, Korean barbecue, and cream-filled donuts.

Porkpie Hat—Together and Apart

Like all our fellow travelers, our journey is too long, our journey is too brief.  We are immortal and god-like, filling up the universe; we are tiny and fragile, our lives as flickering and insubstantial as sparks from a campfire.  We carry our burdens across barren lands beneath what must be a thousand years of… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Embrace the Chaos

If there is one thing I should probably not be doing in this life, it is giving advice.  Whatever good fortune I have come across, I have typically stumbled into ass-backwards rather than achieved through any sort of strategy or wisdom.  Nevertheless, you just never know when somebody might benefit from a word or two… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Life During Wartime

“Transmit the message to the receiver/ Hope for an answer some day” – Talking Heads, “Life During Wartime” There is a battle raging all around us, a deadly skirmish in the only war that has ever mattered: the struggle between the opposing forces of love and fear.  It’s a senseless conflict, one that should never… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Of Flight Attendants and Pink Flamingos

I’m twenty years old, living in the basement of a ramshackle pink building in Vancouver’s wild West End.  My upstairs neighbour, appropriately named Byron, is about seventy years old, a salty and poetic soul, a former flight attendant for a British airline.  His studio apartment is cramped and narrow, but the furnishings are suggestive of… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Some Thoughts on Dancing Lessons

I’m typing this at 6:20 in the morning, sitting in my backyard beside a small bonfire, wearing pyjamas, a toque, fingerless gloves, and a lumberjack shirt from the grunge era.  My dog is lying beside me on her ratty Mexican blanket.  In the east, there’s a faint flash of lightning in the sky, but, for… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Human Resources Wants Your Soul

I sometimes believe that we reach our highest human potential at some time during the earliest years of our childhood.  In those early days we are all poets, artists, scientists, fearless explorers, and relentless questers after knowledge.  Then, just as we are revelling in the joyousness and sensory overload of sheer existential experience, we find… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Jussie Smollett and the Age of Outrage

Isn’t there such a sweet, sad irony to the sorry shenanigans of Jussie Smollett? Apparently in hopes of furthering his career, sweetening his contract deal, and winning public sympathy and support, the poor schmo allegedly conspired to fake a hate crime against himself. Of course, since the whole ill-conceived shitshow has blown up in his… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Universal DJ

“Baby your mind is a radio Got a receiver inside my head Baby I’m tuned to your wavelength Lemme tell you what it says: Transmitter! Oh! Picking up something good Hey, radio head! The sound…of a brand-new world” -Talking Heads, ‘Radio Head’ There is a thing every good deejay understands: putting together a great mix… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Kaleidoscope

I am seven years old, and hiding in my basement bedroom, waiting for my father’s anger to subside.  He’s in the kitchen above me, hurling pots, pans, plates at the wall.  It’s not my first rodeo, as they say.  I know it will pass, like a wild thunderstorm.  With luck, all it will do is… Read more »