Posts By: Karl Low

Darjeeling Jones

Darjeeling is a teacher, writer, and amateur drycleaner. Fetishes include ’70s funk, Stanley Kubrick, Korean barbecue, and cream-filled donuts.

Porkpie Hat—Of Flight Attendants and Pink Flamingos

I’m twenty years old, living in the basement of a ramshackle pink building in Vancouver’s wild West End.  My upstairs neighbour, appropriately named Byron, is about seventy years old, a salty and poetic soul, a former flight attendant for a British airline.  His studio apartment is cramped and narrow, but the furnishings are suggestive of… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Some Thoughts on Dancing Lessons

I’m typing this at 6:20 in the morning, sitting in my backyard beside a small bonfire, wearing pyjamas, a toque, fingerless gloves, and a lumberjack shirt from the grunge era.  My dog is lying beside me on her ratty Mexican blanket.  In the east, there’s a faint flash of lightning in the sky, but, for… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Human Resources Wants Your Soul

I sometimes believe that we reach our highest human potential at some time during the earliest years of our childhood.  In those early days we are all poets, artists, scientists, fearless explorers, and relentless questers after knowledge.  Then, just as we are revelling in the joyousness and sensory overload of sheer existential experience, we find… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Jussie Smollett and the Age of Outrage

Isn’t there such a sweet, sad irony to the sorry shenanigans of Jussie Smollett? Apparently in hopes of furthering his career, sweetening his contract deal, and winning public sympathy and support, the poor schmo allegedly conspired to fake a hate crime against himself. Of course, since the whole ill-conceived shitshow has blown up in his… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Universal DJ

“Baby your mind is a radio Got a receiver inside my head Baby I’m tuned to your wavelength Lemme tell you what it says: Transmitter! Oh! Picking up something good Hey, radio head! The sound…of a brand-new world” -Talking Heads, ‘Radio Head’ There is a thing every good deejay understands: putting together a great mix… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Kaleidoscope

I am seven years old, and hiding in my basement bedroom, waiting for my father’s anger to subside.  He’s in the kitchen above me, hurling pots, pans, plates at the wall.  It’s not my first rodeo, as they say.  I know it will pass, like a wild thunderstorm.  With luck, all it will do is… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Behind the Glass

Somewhere in the crystal looking glass world, beyond the other side of actual human life, there exist the rarest and most precious beings.  I picture them as a combination of mannequin and angel.  They are digital divas basking in the pixel limelight, virtual mermaids doing the breaststroke through an ocean of self-regard.  These creatures have… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Always Heading Home

“But the beauty is in the walking — we are betrayed by destinations.” – Gwyn Thomas Quick! Pack your bags! I’ll leave the car running while I help you load them in the back seat.  Feel free to pack light, all you really need is your best sneakers and your sense of wonder.  You don’t… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Canadian Identity

A few days ago, an Australian acquaintance made some interesting observations on what she sees as essential aspects of “Canadianness”.  “What is it with you Canadians?” she mused, “you all seem to be so nice and polite, but at the same time, every one of you that I’ve met has been both twisted and brilliant… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Some Kind of Special

I’m seventeen years old, camping at Moses Lake with my best friends in the world.  We spend the weekend sitting around the campfire, telling bullshit stories, and drinking warm beer.  Josie has her beat-up acoustic guitar and we’re singing along to “Gold Dust Woman,” “Space Oddity,” and “Don’t Fear the Reaper.”  Ginny and I go… Read more »