Posts By: Karl Low

Darjeeling Jones

Darjeeling is a teacher, writer, and amateur drycleaner. Fetishes include ’70s funk, Stanley Kubrick, Korean barbecue, and cream-filled donuts.

Porkpie Hat—Basic Rules for Post-Midwinter Survival

As we all know, January has been scientifically proven to be approximately twice as long as all the other months of the year put together. This is indisputable. This, by itself, is a problem, and contributes to psychological balance and physiological homeostasis becoming approximately as stable as an existential tilt-a-whirl. This, of course, follows hard… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Into the Woods

This world is a forest from a dark fairy tale, dreamed up by the fevered imagination of the Brothers Grimm. At the moment, it seems to be locked in eternal winter, but, far away, the sky is burning red, and I fear it’s not from the approaching dawn. The trees here are black and gnarled;… Read more »

Pokrpie Hat—The Night Picnic

In the English seaside town I grew up in, there was an urban legend about a certain apple tree that grew on the edge of the town park, or the Recreation Grounds, as the place was known. The story went that a woman, a single mother with three young daughters, had brought her family to… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Random Thoughts About the Mind and the Year to Come

“To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else.” – Emily Dickinson Ah, the human brain.  That overstuffed gray matter enchilada, filled with shredded images, diced ideas, and gooey melted memories.  Packed full of primo chemicals, tiny electrical sparks, Shakespearean sonnets, nursery rhymes, erotic  visions, misremembered lyrics, film noir dialogue, esoteric formulae,… Read more »

Advice Column

Most often, when I come across an advice column, the words of wisdom promise to help the reader become more “successful” in some way.  If you follow these suggestions, the implication goes, you will become wealthier / achieve higher grades / improve your job prospects / lose weight / gain more energy / reduce stress/… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Undercover Hearts

The Magnificent Seven.  None of us knew what we wanted to do after high school.  We were the bad kids, the misfits, the guttersnipes and vagabonds.  We made some money from working the line at the Waffle House and the Tomahawk Grill, and a little bit extra from selling belt buckles and lighters and weed… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Down with the Foodies

Have you ever felt as though you were born in the wrong time period? I thought so! Me too. From my taste in music, fashion, and architecture to my views on political correctness, there are any number of ways in which I feel I am struggling upstream against the prevailing temporal currents.  I have an… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—T’aint No Sin

I’m writing this late on a Saturday morning, drinking Irish coffee, still dressed in my fake-silk chinoiserie bathrobe, the one that’s decorated with orchids and small blue dragons.  It’s a cloudy day, but every now and then the clouds part, and sunlight comes pouring through my window, like the visual equivalent of condensed milk flowing… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Party Time

To me, the beginning of December through to New Year’s is the only time of year when I actually look forward to socializing. For the rest of the year, I’m about as approachable as a Gila monster, and have little interest in hosting gatherings of any kind. In the springtime, I prefer to spend my… Read more »