Posts By: Karl Low

Darjeeling Jones

Darjeeling is a teacher, writer, and amateur drycleaner. Fetishes include ’70s funk, Stanley Kubrick, Korean barbecue, and cream-filled donuts.

Porkpie Hat—Basic Rules for Post Mid-Winter Survival

As we all know, January has been scientifically proven to be approximately twice as long as all the other months of the year put together. This is indisputable. This, by itself, is a problem, and contributes to psychological balance and physiological homeostasis becoming approximately as stable as an existential tilt-a-whirl. This, of course, follows hard… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Renouncing the Ordinary

I realized, many years ago, that it would probably not be a good thing if I had access to unlimited funds.  I would end up shortening my life with endless high-cholesterol prawn cocktails, crate-upon-crate of bubbly, and trays filled with umbrella drinks, all cruising above the Azores in a bespoke art deco zeppelin, complete with… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Hungriest Ghosts

“Oh well, the devil makes us sin But we like it when we’re spinning in his grip -Massive Attack, ‘Paradise Circus’ “God made food; the devil the cooks.” -James Joyce, Ulysses The chefs’ movements are fluid as any dancer’s, their hands skilled as any surgeon’s. (Saltimbocca, cassoulet, roasted vegetables, veal with hollandaise sauce.) The restaurant… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—A Brand New Renaissance

I’ve always felt, haven’t you, that springtime, especially in the midst of an apocalypse, is a wonderful opportunity to try something new.  One world crumbles as another one rises.  Perhaps we could skip that whole intermediate period of barbaric anarchy, though.  Either way, I thought we might do a little revamping and refreshing. For example,… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—On the Nature of Time

Time is most definitely not consistently equivalent.  Time is relative, mercurial, capricious.  It is linked to and calibrated by our state of mind and our visceral awareness of the world, where we are currently placed on the psychological spectrum between trauma and ecstasy.  A split second poised at the top of a roller coaster, for… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—The Gift of Conscience

Last week, I was speaking with a friend of mine, a professional artist, who has been staying and working for the past few months in Portugal.  She was telling me that, as news of the COVID-19 pandemic was gaining momentum, she and her partner had been traveling to a couple of larger metropolitan areas in… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—The Road Ahead

There are so many oracles and prophets these days, it’s hard to know where to turn to for insight, who to believe.  The existential weather forecast on Radio Isolation is calling for silent skies, and ominous grey clouds veined with silver, accompanied by intermittent bursts of beauty and occasional hellfire, with 70% probability of unexpected… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—Travel in the Time of Isolation

“Unexpected travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.” – Kurt Vonnegut Travel has always been the most exciting thing for me, the greatest of pleasures.  To get lost in a new city or take a bend in the road and come across a view of the ocean.  To wander the streets, eat in the restaurants,… Read more »

My Time In Isolation

Well, now, it appears that Mr. Crow, that wily old shapeshifting trickster, is at it again—this time in the guise of the plague.  Novel coronavirus? I never imagined, thirty-plus years ago, just how timely my developing propensity for escapism and social distancing would one day become.  In all modesty, though, I’ve long been a Houdini-level… Read more »

Porkpie Hat—The True Wheel of Fortune

Today’s column will take more of a scholarly slant, exploring recent “scientific” studies conducted in several ivy league universities that prefer to remain anonymous.  According to cutting edge research funded by KarmaPharma Holistic Antipsychotics, most of what we thought we knew about the development of individual personality is totally incorrect.  Darwinism, nature / nurture, and… Read more »