Dear Barb—COVID Christmas Fallout

Dear Barb:

Well, I’m glad that’s over.  Christmas was awful!  Half my family are vaccinated, and half are not, so it was difficult to decide who to invite to our family dinner.  Then some of the family refused to wear a mask or social distance, and so we ended up in different rooms until Christmas day which was total chaos and resulted in a huge fight with people leaving in the middle of dinner. 

Within days some of us began having symptoms and a couple ultimately received a positive COVID test.  Then the blaming began.  Now two weeks later, no one is talking to each other.  I am trying to find a way to get my family back together.  Do you have any suggestions, or should I just wait for a while and hope this will just blow over?  I HATE COVID!  Breanna. 

Hi Breanna:

Sorry your Christmas was so stressful.  People are so exhausted from the virus, and we were all hoping this year it would have ended and we could enjoy our Christmas get togethers.  The situation with the vaccinated and unvaccinated has been an ongoing issue and has been straining family relationships from day one.  Everyone has their own belief system, and the confusing part is that experts don’t seem to completely understand Covid or the variants.  This leads to frustration and people do not know what to believe.

I think you should wait a while before you attempt any reconciliation.  If you try to discuss the issues too soon it will be a trigger and things will erupt again.  When you can think about it without feeling emotional, then you may be ready to attempt a discussion.  Initially try a virtual visit, this way you will all be safe and not have to get into risky situations.  When you do get together, do it in an outdoor area where you will be able to maintain safe social distancing and wear a mask.

It would be a good idea to tell your family members that you will be wearing a mask and maintaining social distancing.  Hopefully, they will respect your boundaries.  If things erupt again when you get together, you may need more time apart, but continue to maintain a connection either virtual or through texts or emails.  Remember all pandemics eventually end.  In the meantime, do not allow this pandemic to permanently ruin your family relationships.  I hope I answered your question.  Thanks for writing Breanna.